What to Write in a Quinceañera Card

By Sara Quenzer on June 8th, 2021
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Figuring out what to write in a quinceañera card can be intimidating—especially if you’re unfamiliar with the meaningful fifteenth birthday celebration. It’s important to give a card that feels worthy of the milestone and the amazing quinceañera/o themselves.

If you feel like you don’t know enough about quinceañeras—often shortened to “quinces”—and you want the right words to tell the guest of honour you see them and they’re important to you, we’ve got some background and ideas to get you started.

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What is a Quinceañera?

Quinceañeras originated from the Aztec, Mayan, Incan and Toltec peoples, indigenous groups of Central and South America, and were later adapted by the Spanish who added the element of a Catholic mass. Quinces have been celebrated for a long time—since the 1500s—and have traditionally been held to celebrate a girl’s fifteenth birthday. Though American culture may consider 15 a ways from adulthood, a quince is considered by many to be a celebration of a girl becoming a woman. In Mexican, Latinx and Hispanic cultures, they are a big deal (which is why you’re here).

Traditional quinces, in a nutshell, look like this:

  • The birthday human, called the quinceañera, wears a gorgeous gown.
  • Everyone attends a religious mass before the fiesta.
  • There’s a Court of Honour, made up of the quinceañera’s friends and/or extended family members.
  • At the party, the quinceañera dances with her family, eats delicious food and participates in some symbolic rituals that represent the transition from girlhood to womanhood.
  • The decorations, food and dress are elaborate, so quinces can cost more than weddings.
  • In the U.S., quinceañera celebrations are often catered toward friends, while in Latin America, quinces are often more focused on family.
  • For many quinceañeras, the party is considered secondary to the religious ceremony.

Helpful vocabulary tips

  • An a, o or x at the end of Quinceañer accounts for the gender of the guest of honour: “a” is for those who identify as girls, “o” is for those who identify as boys and non-binary or gender-fluid individuals might prefer “x.” If you’re unsure, you can ask the guest of honour what pronouns they use, ask someone close to them, check their socials or use the gender-neutral “quince años.
  • Quinceañera/o is the name of the celebration itself and the guest of honour. A longer version of the celebration name is “fiesta de quince años,” and a shorter version is “quince.
  • Feliz Cumpleaños is Spanish for “Happy Birthday.”
  • Damas are maids of honour in the guest of honour’s court.
  • Chambelanes are chamberlains, or escorts, in the guest of honour’s court.
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What to Expect at a Modern Quinceañera

Many modern quinces have blended religious and cultural tradition with more modern ideas. For instance, today’s celebrations are less about “becoming a woman” and more about how much a girl has grown. They’re also considerably more celebratory of the girl’s identity and individuality, which has changed quinceañera dress, dance, food, décor and court traditions.

Some ways quinces have changed in recent years:

  • With their increased focus on individuality, quinceañeras have been opportunities for members of the LGBTQIA+ community to celebrate coming out or just celebrate their identity.
  • Teens of mixed-racial identity are opting to combine cultural influences and traditions.
  • Many women are deciding to hold double quinces when they turn 30, sometimes in groups.
  • Boys and non-binary folks are deciding to hold quinces, too.
  • Many young people opt for a different gift, like a car or vacation, over a quince—and many don’t celebrate their 15th with extravagance at all.

No matter the kind of quince you’re attending, the ultimate goal of letting the quinceañera know you appreciate and love them stays the same.

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Faith and Tradition Messages

Make it a blend of “happy birthday” with messages about growing up and loving God.

Examples:

  • Feliz Cumpleaños! Your quince is such a blessed day, make sure to take this moment and thank God for your wonderful fifteen years of life!”
  • “Blessed and happy to have you in my life, Amiga! You deserve the best quince!”
  • “I’m so proud of the woman you’re becoming, and the girl you’ve been. I know God is, too! Feliz Cumpleaños, amazing Quinceañera!”
  • “Today, Quinceañera, you reaffirmed your promises to God. You’ve honoured yourself, your family and your religion—and that’s something to be proud of on this special day. Feliz Cumpleaños.”
  • “Fifteen years ago, God blessed us with a wonderful daughter. Today, He blesses you with a wonderful birthday. Love you mucho, Cariño!”
  • “Your quince is finally here, and I hope it’s all you wished it to be! I feel so blessed to be your sister/friend/cousin.”
  • “I’m blessed to be in your life and proud to be on your court! I hope your quince is as awesome as you!”
  • “Que la presencia y el amor de Dios te acompañen hoy y cada día de tu vida. ¡Felicidades, Quinceañera!”

Helpful Tips

  • The less you know about the quinceañera, the more you can focus on celebrating the birthday itself. Focus on how great the milestone is, affirm their faith and wish them an amazing day.
  • If you want to acknowledge your shared faith, but feel awkward saying “blessed,” you can always close with “Ve con Dios, [insert your name].”
  • To focus on how both the quinceañera and their faith have grown, talk about fond memories from when they were younger and more recent stories that relate. It’ll be a nice nostalgic trip for both of you.
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Lift Them Up Messages

Celebrate the awesome person they are as much as you’re celebrating the day.

Examples:

  • “Hija/o, it’s exciting to be celebrating your quince—but it’s beyond exciting just to be celebrating you. Love you lots.”
  • Hermana/o, you’ve been a pretty freakin’ amazing sister/brother/cousin/friend. I hope your quince’s just as awesome as you are.”
  • “You’re going places. I’m so happy I get to see it. Feliz Cumpleaños!
  • Quinceañera, you rule, and I’m so thankful to be on your court. Make sure to eat some cake before you run the world!”
  • “On your quince, you’re that much closer to your dreams coming true! So excited for you, and so happy to be celebrating with you, amiga/o!
  • “You’ve got one lucky family, Nena! So proud of you. Feliz Cumpleaños!
  • “Hoy que cumples Quince Años, celebra tu juventud, tus ilusiones y tus sueños. ¡Muchas felicidades!”

Helpful Tips

  • If the quinceañera has accomplished a lot in their fifteen years, it’s a nice touch to call out some of those things you’re both proud of.
  • If bringing up past accomplishments doesn’t feel right, you can talk about the quinceañera’s bright future, or just put the emphasis on enjoying the day.
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LGBTQ Messages

Celebrate their identity and put your support into words.

Examples:

  • “You already know so much about who you are at fifteen, and we’re so happy you’re sharing yourself with us. We love you and we’re proud of you. Happy Quince!
  • “It’s awesome to see you celebrate who you are, and I know the family and I are so pumped to be included. I hope you feel the love on your quince!”
  • “I feel so lucky to be in your life. You’re coming into your own faster than many people do. Be proud of that! Happy Fifteenth!”
  • “There’s a lotta pride in this quince—and not just because of you! I’m proud to be on your court and so proud to know a person as great as you. Feliz Cumpleaños!”
  • “As your friend, I already know how awesome you are. It’s good to see everyone else celebrating it on your quince! Proud of you!”
  • “I’m so happy to see the confidence you’ve found as you grow into an awesome 15-year-old. You bring so much colour into the lives of those around you! Happy Quince!”
  • “En este día tan especial, celebramos tu vida y te festejamos con mucho orgullo. Nunca olvides que eres una persona muy querida. ¡Felices Quince Años!”

Helpful Tip

If you don’t already have a firm grasp on the quinceañera/o’s identity, there’s no better time to find out more. There’s no better way to show them they’re loved and known than by learning about their orientations and preferences. You may find our article about how to write meaningful messages to LGBTQ loved ones helpful as you write this card and more cards in the future.

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Blended Quince Messages

Celebrate the quinceañera’s beautiful combination of cultures while still focusing the message on the guest of honour.

Examples:

  • “We’re so happy to be celebrating you, your unique heritage and your own special story. And we’re so proud of the young adult you’re becoming.”
  • “Just like our family, your quince’s an awesome mix of totally awesome things. I hope you have an amazing day and enjoy celebrating all the things that make you you.”
  • “The way you bring all the sides of our family together is so beautiful. I’m so happy to be a part of it and so happy to be celebrating you and your amazingness on this special quince!”
  • “It’s so exciting to be part of a quince this awesome and even more exciting to be part of a quince that’s yours! Muchas Felicidades!”
  • “You’re the kind of person who’s all things wonderful! I’m so happy you’re my friend, and I hope your quince is everything!”
  • “This quince is like no other, and it’s so lovely to be a part of it! Proud of you, and happy for you and your family!”
  • “Tus Quince Años son muy especiales, y es maravilloso ser parte de ellos. Estoy muy feliz por ti y tu familia. Que disfrutes este día al máximo.”

Helpful Tips

  • If it feels appropriate, use celebratory phrases from both languages/cultures the quinceañera/o is part of.
  • Just to reiterate: Acknowledge the quinceañera/o as much as you’re acknowledging their blend of cultures. It’s super cool to see a blended quince, but it’s still all about the birthday human.
  • If nodding to the blended cultures doesn’t feel right in your written message, consider other ways to nod to the guest of honour’s cultures. Can the card’s colours and design, or an accompanying gift, respectfully acknowledge the culture combination? For example, at a blended quince celebrating traditional Latina culture and Islamic culture, you might give a quinceañera card with some Islamic prayer beads.
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Theme-Related Messages

Tie the theme in to your birthday wish. As examples, here are some messages that would work well for the popular princess-themed quince:

Examples:

  • “You’ve always been a princess to us, and now you’re becoming a queen. We love you so much, Hija.
  • “On your quince, you wear the crown. Feliz Cumpleaños, Hermana, but don’t get too comfortable in the throne. ;)”
  • “I wish someone like you ruled the world. So proud of you, Quinceañera, and so happy that you’re getting the royal treatment you deserve!”
  • “Feliz Cumpleaños to a quince princess I’m happy to bow down to! So happy for you, and so happy to be on your court.”
  • Nena, you deserve a quince as royally awesome as you. You’re an amazing friend and person, and I’m so happy to be celebrating you.”
  • “You rule, Quinceañera! Hope your quince feels fit for the queen you are!”
  • “Quinceañera, es tu hora de brillar como una princesa. Disfruta cada momento de esta celebración tan única. ¡Felicidades!”

Helpful Tip

  • Wordplay might make the Quinceañera groan, but it’s definitely a handy tool to feel like you’re playing into the quince’s theme.
  • If you (and/or the quinceañera) truly hate puns, feel free to honour the theme with the card design or card colours instead.
  • You can always add some theme-related drawings to the card inside or use cute stickers.

Some common quince themes:

  • Paris
  • Princess
  • Designer-inspired (Chanel, Gucci, etc.)
  • Masquerade
  • Glam
  • Pop culture (book or movie characters and stories)
  • Favorite colours
  • Season-based (Winter Wonderland, Summer Fun, etc.)
  • Era-based (’20s, ’50s, etc.)
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Double Quince Messages

Double quinces really are for GROWN adults, so you can celebrate what they’ve achieved already.

Examples:

  • “We’re so excited we get this chance to celebrate what an awesome person you are! We’re so proud to call you our daughter/son. Feliz Cumpleaños!”
  • “You’re a force to be reckoned with, Hermana/o, and I love you! Celebrate big today—you deserve it! Feliz Cumpleaños!
  • “Being part of your amazing life has been such a blessing. I’m so proud of the person you’ve become, and I know your younger self would be, too!”
  • “Celebrating you and all the awesome stuff you’ve done as a real-life adult is such a treat. Feliz Cumpleaños and thank you for including me in your court!”
  • “I’m so happy to be celebrating the amazing human you are, Amiga/o! You deserve a double quince that’s just as wonderful as you are.”
  • “I hope your double quince is double the fun! Muchas Felicidades!
  • “Qué felicidad tener la oportunidad de celebrar la increíble persona que eres. Que esta nueva etapa sea doblemente maravillosa. ¡Feliz Cumpleaños!”

Helpful Tip

  • Depending on your relationship with the double quinceañera/o, don’t be afraid to call out the perks of a double quince. Adult parties can be extra fun for plenty of reasons (like booze, booze and booze).
  • Chances are if you’re invited to a double quince, you’re in the guest of honour’s in-group. Throw in some inside jokes but also let yourself get a little emotional about your relationship.
  • Double quinces are often thrown by the guest of honour themselves. In this case, it’s important to thank them for throwing the party and for inviting you to join in the celebration.
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Meaningful Closings

If you want to let the card itself do most of the talking, you can still add a meaningful closing:

  • Proud of you, Nena!
  • God loves you, and I do, too!
  • So much love for you!
  • Excited for you, Quinceañera/o!
  • Can’t wait to see what you do next!
  • I’m so proud of all you’ve done.
  • Cherish your day, Quinceañera/o!
  • ¡Te mereces lo mejor!

Quinceañera Guest Etiquette Tips

  • If you’re invited to the quinceañera, bring the card in person.
  • Make sure you RSVP. This day takes a lot of planning, so don’t make it even harder on the guest of honour by leaving your plans for attendance unclear.
  • If you’ve been invited but can’t go, it’s important to let the guest of honour know, thank them for the invitation and send a quince card.
  • Gifts are not mandatory, but they are fun. When selecting a gift, gauge your relationship with the quinceañera, and remember that their whole family will be at the party when your gift is opened. Keep it PG.