What to Write in an LGBTQ Wedding Card

When you get down to the heart of things, love is love. So what you write to an LGBTQ (or queer) couple may end up sounding a lot like what you’d write to a straight cisgender couple (where both identify with the biological sex they were assigned at birth). And that’s helpful to know going in, because it means you can find even more inspiration in these other articles on what to write in wedding and shower cards.

Of course, you might choose to tailor what you write to the couple’s LGBTQ identity through word choices, or with a message of support or pride. Or you might want to use your message to welcome a family member’s same-sex partner. The way you make your message specific can be small and subtle or big and all-out. Whatever your preferred style, keep reading for writing tips and inspiration, potential pitfalls to avoid and message examples to inspire you.

Sometimes you just want to keep things short and happy and sweet—and that’s perfect.

Examples:

• “Congrats and best wishes, gentlemen!”
• “Congratulations to the bride and broom on your big day!” (Note: “Broom” is a combination of “bride” + “groom” that some LGBTQ marriers [most often women] choose for their wedding day.)
• “So thrilled for you, Cody and Levi!”
• “Here’s to the brides-to-be!”
• “Two men who love each other, one great adventure ahead of you…Warmest congratulations on your marriage.”
• “Congratulations, Anne and Michelle! I just couldn’t be happier for the two of you.”
• “Here’s to becoming ‘old married men’! So happy for you!”
• “Partners in love…in life…for always. Congrats!”
• “Congratulations! You’re going to be wonderful spouses to each other.”
• “This calls for Theirs & Theirs towels! Congratulations, you two!” (Note: Using “Theirs & Theirs” in place of “His & Hers” works for a couple who both identify as gender nonbinary and prefer the pronouns “they/their” instead of “he/his” or “she/her” for themselves.)

Writing tip: If you noticed that the gendered names and nouns are all that make some of these LGBTQ-specific, you’re right. The same goes for the intentionally gender-neutral message examples. And it’s because—queer or straight—the warmth and joy really are the same.

“Please don’t tell us we’re good-looking, good together, meant to be and/or made for each other,” said no couple ever. In other words, tell ’em how wonderful they are!

Examples:

• “Good guys like you deserve each other!”
• “Greg, when Joey first introduced you to me, I thought you two were a good match. And now it turns out I was right! So happy for you both.”
• “Hope your wedding is as beautiful as you two.”
• “I just love seeing two women as amazing as you end up together. Congratulations.”
• “Congrats on being each other’s Prince Charming.”
• “Mx. and Mx. has such a nice ring to it!” (Note: Mx. is a gender-neutral title you can use in place of Mr. or Mrs.)
• “Two remarkable people. One wonderful couple. Congrats!”
• “Here’s to the spouse and spouse! We love seeing how happy you make each other.”
• “The love you’ve found together was made to last. Celebrating with you as you begin your journey as lifetime partners.”

Writing tip: If you’re unsure of your recipients’ preferences when it comes to gendered pronouns, keep in mind that signing a card usually doesn’t call for a “he,” “she” or “they,” but a “you,” which is gender-neutral and applies to all of us.

So, even if one or both of your recipients identify as gender nonbinary, you can still write, “Happy for you!” or “So glad you found each other” or even “Can’t wait to celebrate y’all!”

If you want to keep other language choices gender-neutral, consider using one or more of these:
• “Mx.” instead of “Mr.” or “Mrs.”
• “Spouse,” “partner” or “significant other” in place of “husband” or “wife”
• “Celebrant” or “marrier” instead of “bride” or “groom”

Expressing pride, embracing the couple with words of support, celebrating the hard-earned right to marry—any of these approaches can be a great way into a warm wedding or engagement message for an LGBTQ couple.

Examples:

• “Standing proud with the two of you in celebration of your marriage.”
• “We love and support you, and we’re so proud of you.”
• “Crying lots of proud and happy tears for you!”
• “Full of pride for the joyful, fun, loving, made-for-each-other couple you are.”
• “I know the journey the two of you took to get here. Can’t wait to see where you go from today.”
• “You’ve got love. And you’ve got us. We’re with you all the way.”
• “Your love is inspiring. You’re a shining example of what happens when two people who are meant to be do what it takes to be together.”
• “Even in a crazy world, love finds a way. So happy it did for the two of you.”

Writing tip: A pride message is not required. Even if what you write is purely focused on love, happiness and wishes, you’ll still be expressing support for the couple. Cards are powerful like that.

When you’re writing to a family member who’s newly engaged or about to be married, it’s great to infuse your written message with an added note of warmth and welcome. After all, their spouse-to-be is about to become family, too!

Examples:

• “Our family is growing by one son-in-law…and so much love. Couldn’t be happier about that!”
• “So happy our daughter found the perfect woman to share her life.”
• “I never expected I’d be getting the coolest new brother ever thanks to my doofus old brother. Wonders never cease!”
• “Welcome to the fam! You’re the best thing to happen to this bunch since who knows when.”
• “Seeing the two of you so happy together makes the whole family that much happier.”
• “We knew it would take someone extra special to be right for you, and you found them. Yay!”
• “I couldn’t have picked a better partner for my daughter. You make her so happy, and that means everything to me.”
• “Look no further for a squad. We’re all here cheering, supporting and welcoming you into the family.”

Writing tip: Some of the message examples above are directed more toward one person in the couple, and that makes sense. You might want to say different things to your current family member and your soon-to-be family member. You could address each of them individually within the same card. Or you could send an additional card to one or both of them.

If you’re close to one or both halves of the couple, and you know they’d appreciate a funny or lighthearted wish, then feel free to make them laugh with what you write.

Examples:

• “Double garter [bouquet] toss! Bonus!”
• “If there’s any justice, a giant rainbow will appear in the sky on your wedding day!”
• “A pair of queens is always a good hand. I’m all in on this bet!”
• “We hope it’s the gayest affair ever!”
• “You were good as single ladies. But I’m glad you put a ring on it, because you’re even better together!”
• “Looking forward to the best wedding playlist ever. I’ll get my moves ready.”
• “May your wedding day be so fabulously happy, it goes down in HIS-tory.”
• “You’ve been significant others for a while now. And now you’re even more significant to each other…if that’s even possible!”
• “You two make a helluva lot more sense than a lot of the other couples in this family.”

Writing tip: Humor is best saved for those you know well. So, when in doubt, don’t joke around. Keep your wishes warm and heartfelt instead.